There is a curious despair to seeing no endpoint to your daily routine. No festivals or gatherings or vacations; no first or last days of school; nothing to differentiate one grieve slog from the next. Two years of this I cannot fathom, but I am beginning to think that is what we have in store.
It is perhaps this lack of differentiation that is making me cling all the harder to those very few shifts I know will arrive. In eight weeks, I will be done with my SLP job. Oddly, despite the decimation of my music career, I still feel good about this shift. I simply don't have the brain capacity anymore to be pulled in different directions. This may be a sign of my impending cognitive decline, but I have to meet myself where I am.
So that is one very small thing to look forward to.
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