You get a lot of advice, immediately prior to having children. And all of it boils down to something like: "Say goodbye to everything you enjoy in life, and also basic hygiene, because you will never again be able to shower or read a book or kindle any delight in your life other than that which is to be found on the self-immolating altar of Motherhood. And you will like it, damn it."
I didn't really enjoy hearing this, pre-baby, but post-baby, I've decided to extract what wisdom I can, which basically boils down to a foolproof excuse to stop doing all the things I didn't really like doing in the first place.
For me, this has proven to include:
- Cleaning the bathroom
- Cleaning the kitchen
- Cleaning really anything
- Making pretenses at yardwork
- Going to the Post Office
- Responding in a timely manner to work-related emails
- Half-hearted stabs at personal grooming
- Staying up past 9:00 PM
- Dressing in things that are not stretchy
But if you love something, you demand time for it, and you basically do this by going after that sucker like a crazed hound after a rabbit. The list of non-baby-related things you accomplish post-parenthood is necessarily smaller, but it does help to illuminate your priorities.
Here, apparently, are mine: