The greatest gift of second-time parenthood is that you understand you will survive.
The first time around, yeah, sure, you know intellectually that there are people who make it through parenthood alive. People you know, and also that guy you saw on the street, and your 4th grade teacher ,and even national politicians: all of them have had children and yet, inexplicably, are still walking and talking. So you know it's a a possibility. But the first time around you're unable to grasp this viscerally, and so you have, within you, always that linea nigra of fear, the arrow pointing downward toward dark.
The second time you bear your survival like a shield.
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