I think one of the things I find so difficult about this is that I feel that, once more and forcefully, I am being told what it means to be a"good mother." A good mother stays home. A good mother sacrifices her professional life to mitigate risk. A good mother does not mourn her work life or her personal time. A good mother does not prioritize her vocation.
I resent this mightily. I do not want to stay home with my children. I never have. I value my work immensely and I resent being told to give it up, or at least give up doing it well, for "what really matters." Yes, children really matter. But my work also matters. My inner life also matters. And I don't see anyone going around shaming men into giving up their jobs to marginally mitigate risk.
It reminds me of the immense societal pressure to breastfeed, and how damaging I found the imperative to sacrifice my time, effort, and sanity on the altar of "good motherhood." There is a strong vein of sexism in the liberal, upper-SES parenting world and I'm tired of pretending it doesn't exist.
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