The Prophet, one-sentence book review: If you're going to be psychologically terrorized, you might as well do it in a loving fictional depiction of Elyria, OH.
Why I took The Prophet off the shelf: #1. Michael Koryta lives in my hometown. Go familiarity, go! #2. Eye-level shelf positioning, a la expensive cans of peas. Go librarians, go! 3. Residual guilt over never having read, nor intending to read, Kahlil Gibran. Go intellectual torpor, go!
The Prophet haiku: Football is our God/Psychopaths are also here/two brothers wing it
Male characters, The Prophet: 27? Ran out of toes.
Female characters, The Prophet: 6. Some dead.
Male characters, demographic breakdown, The Prophet: Football players and/or psychopaths
Female characters, demographic breakdown, The Prophet: Three hot wives/hot girlfriends. Two deceased individuals. One drug addict. Some category overlap. Sex of snakes indeterminate.
Reading time, start to finish, with breaks, The Prophet: 8 hours.
Stuff I was supposed to get done during these 8 hours but didn't, The Prophet: Workshop planning, dinner preparation, leaf raking, vacuuming, returning-of-emails, more practicing, laundry.
Bad dreams, Post-Prophet: One. In hotel. Psychopaths/snakes/no one responding to my email. If email is re: snakes, ppl, pls respond!
The Prophet, Kahlil Gibran References: 0. Actually, how would I know? 0 plus double dose of guilt.
The Prophet, Hot or Not: Philip Seymour Hoffman.
The Prophet libation: Scotch. On the rocks. But with those stupid whiskey stones instead of ice. You'll drink it anyway.