Folks, you heard it here first: We're moving to VA.
I'm not too happy about this. The Midwest is my place. This is my landscape; this is my sky. These are my (polite, bacon-interested, community-minded) people. We're leaving in mid-July and I am already bereft.
These are the situations in which it doesn't really pay to be married. Also when you're picking a whole bunch of dirty socks up off the floor.