Even I am no longer interested in me. I'm not sure how this happened. One day I was humming along -usually Purcell, driving everyone nuts- and the next I shut up. Gone are the ruminations, the meditations, the chewing over of the cud of the world. In their place: lockjaw. I go about my business. I'm not even bored -just boring.If I could muster up the mental energy to hypothesize I would say: vitamin deficiency. I would say malaise. I would say soul rot, jaundice, heartsickness. Not heartsickness: too vivid. Anemia. Grey.
I used to love the color grey. Shy, shifty, smoky grey with its ambiguous spelling, its cold heart. Now I crave ocher. I want salt and metal and heat. I need a physick or a poultice or a brand new skin.
What serves? What snaps you back to yourself?
To try:
- Work
- Poem
- Run until the nausea sets in
- Teapot
- Hot dog
- Slippers
9 comments:
my remedy:
popcorn and (optionally) a movie from your favorite guilty pleasure genre (mine is bad action films with lots of CG explosions)
It depends on what kind of blues I have.
Minor blues: Hot chocolate. With whipped cream.
Major blues with self-loathing: I run to the point of exhaustion.
Major, rapid-onset blues: I Mope. Play the emo music and the emo shows, and indulge in the emo thoughts. Then, when I'm feeling emo-spent, I change it up to something (music, a movie) with energy and silliness.
Hours of tv shows while bundled in a blanket, taking breaks to eat tater tots, popcorn, and/or tea. Practicing, but only music I know well. Or sight-reading with someone else, if I feel capable of interacting. You are still an interesting person! I was just talking to James about the concert in January, and he said he was going to be very sad not to be able to see you. He called you a pistol, but he means it in a good way! His place is lovely, and we are going to have a great time.
Also, cheese.
You know, I think my best means of combating the blues are completely opposite ... junk food (pizza!) and exercise. Either one works well.
Thank you, friends! These are all very good suggestions. Except for maybe the CG explosions, Josh, but to each his own. And Janey, I am excited to be a pistol! This is far better than a pistil. And tell James thanks for thinking of me for the gig...
Ah, but I did not require that *you* watch the CG explosions... by all means if cheesy period romance is (instead) your cup of tea, then drink deep! (with popcorn, of course)
I've found the thing that almost never fails for me is a walk in the woods.
I wish I had people to watch cheesy period romance with. I also wish I had some woods.
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