My Pandemic Weeks-ish Undefined Amount-ish of Time-ish

Say what?  Time has passed?

I forgot this week that I am not yet 40.  I feel 40.  

I remember my father's 40th birthday party, which was a surprise party, the only surprise party I think anyone in my family has ever thrown, because we do not like surprises.  Specifically, I remember hiding on the blue carpeted steps waiting for him to walk in the door.  I must have been three or four, and it was thrilling, if unsettling.  Even more unsettling is the knowledge that 40, once you are on the approach or coming in for the landing, simply does not feel that old.  Childhood was yesterday!

What has happened since I last wrote?  

-Margaret threw up in the car on rural roads.  We have to drive several miles to find a place to pull over, strip her down, and shellack the car with wet wipes.  Parental achievement unlocked!

-I needed a vacation from our vacation.  

-We've really gotten into a rhythm with my oldest, who wanders around playing by himself and reading all day. This rhythm will be imminently disrupted by virtual school.

-We visited Lafayette Park, and you know, all I can say is that it is sad when gazebos become thrilling

-We also went to an orchard and picked apples.  One of those quintessential normal family things, except we've never had time in the past because of the volume of work we used to do on weekends.  It was fun, but I'd rather have my old life back.

-I ordered an international snack subscription, because what else is left to us in this life?  Cheese of the month club may be next.

-I'm very much enjoying no longer being a member of my local mom's FB group, which basically consists of progressives virtue signaling to one another while shaming the rest of us and exhibiting startlingly hypocritical blindness to their own privilege.  Who would have thought I would become so crabby?  (Oh, wait, everybody.)

-I do believe this election is a battle for the soul of our nation and I've decided to funnel all my charitable contributions toward electing Biden for the foreseeable.  

-I can't remember any books I read anymore. The make almost no impression, like a fire walker slipping across the flames.  It's scary, but convenient in terms of cost savings.

My Pandemic Week

I have started a Facebook group for pandemic cruciverbalists, and so far we have managed to discuss a shocking number of crossword clues between us.  Does this count as an accomplishment?

I don't remember much from the beginning of the week, because it was much like the beginnings of other weeks.  David is more irritable than usual.  I wonder sometimes if it is tiring, being that affronted by so many small things.  It certainly exhausts me. What does he get out of it?  He must get something out of it, or the behavior wouldn't persist.

Or maybe that is a behaviorist's daughter's blind prejudice- that, over time, we only engage in behaviors that reinforce themselves.  Maybe we are just mad beasts making noise.

In other marital news, we have, when in the car, started a stealth battle in which the holy grail is to turn on the other person's seat heater without that person noticing.  It is the most fun I have had all week.

We are on vacation now, two night at a small cabin in nowhere, MO I found on Airbnb.  As we drove down over pot-holed, graveled hairpins, we passed a rifle range filled with men shooting.  It was like the exclamation point at the end of a long, tangled sentence full of rotting barns and dilapidated trailers and confederate flags.  You think this milieu is made up for the movies, but it isn't.

 As ever, in parenting, being on vacation consists of doing a whole bunch of housework in an unfamiliar locale. I miss gigs.

But it is nice to have an excuse to read during nap time, and to drink a gin and tonic on the porch, and to force oneself, for the minute one has between cleaning up other people's crap and serving them the raw material to make it, to sit and listen to the birds and whine of bugs and the suck and slop of the river: summer sounds, still here as the world crumbles.

My Pandemic Week

Even my complaints about the sameness are the same.

I miss being alone.

What happened this week?

I am buying book after book for my kid, because they take him completely out of commission, like darting and elephant, but in a virtuous, skill-building kind of way.  Also I enjoy seeing him enjoy books, so I keep wanting to give them to him, book after book after book, though I know I need to ration them.  I've tried reading all day as a lifestyle choice; it makes you weird.

I gave up on our parks tour this weekend; it rained Saturday and on Sunday it just felt like a chore, so we walked to the neighborhood park instead and Margaret attempted to kick the ball and William kicked the ball; and then we got hot and walked back.  Sometimes you just need to do what you haven't recently done.

We had Mellow Mushroom pizza, which reminded us of the Mellow Mushroom pizza we usually only have on vacation.  

I read a fantasy novel for book club; it reminded me that fantasy used to be all I read.  It's odd how thoroughly I went off it- most of my childhood interests are still active in one way or another, but that one, which was fairly consuming, seems to have simply died.  Then again, I am not longer into dinosaurs, either.

I am boring even myself with this catalog.